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Who in the world never fights with their partner? George Clooney, apparently, who says he and Amal have never had an argument.

Let that statement sink in for a moment: never. Had. A. Argument. I had to read it three times to understand what those words meant in that order.

“I feel very lucky in many ways to have met her. We’ve never had an argument, ”he told People magazine this week.

And just when you’re gasping for breath, he follows up with a suction punch saying that the lockdown was so easy, Chez Cloones, because you get along so well.

“You know, the whole world has been hit by the coronavirus and a lot of friends’ relationships have been put to the test. For us, it has been very easy, ”he said.

Silence, now George. Look, I’m glad you’re happy, but you’re making the rest of us look bad.

It’s one thing to say that the moment Amal came into your life, she gave it meaning. That’s really nice, very moving. But when you declare that you haven’t had an argument, that’s another level. It’s a little, well, weird.

It’s true that if I were married to George Clooney I probably wouldn’t fight him either. I wouldn’t say anything at all anymore as I would be speechless.

George and Amal are probably a bit busy fighting for human rights to have a fight over who is cooking broccoli for their three-year-old twins, Alexander and Ella.

But no other dispute? No cookie squabbles, Netflix jabs, or dishwasher stacking digs? I feel like they are missing it.

There is something to be said for a successful skirmish. It’s nothing serious, you understand? Just a bit of low-level argy-bargy to hold position.

After all, if it wasn’t normal, why are there so many words to describe a little game? Fight; common dispute; Fight; wrinkle; ding-dong; bust barney; spat; dispute; rumble. I could go on and on. Ask my other half.

And surely, even if they have the same political opinions, the perfect couple can’t agree on everything in life, from books to television to movies to music? Aren’t there irritating rellies and silly friends you secretly despise? Wouldn’t that be a bit bland?

The idea of ​​agreeing on everything fills me with horror.

“Differences of opinion and interests can enrich a relationship,” says Relationships Australia.

In which case, my relationship is so enriched that it is like a Christmas cake that has been ripening in the closet for 25 years. Delicious. Or it’s gone. One of the two.

Fortunately, for all of our miseries, Dolly Parton has come to the rescue with an alternate relationship perspective. This week, the country’s legend shared the secret to her 54-year marriage, saying that she and her husband are downright sick of each other.

“My husband and I have been together for 57 years and married for 54, and I’m sick of him and I’m sure he’s sick of me,” she told Jessie Ware on the Table Manners podcast.

The 74-year-old singer married Carl Thomas Dean, 78, in 1966 and has since stayed out of the public eye, rarely seeing her perform.

They live like Islands In the Stream, you might say, even if it’s Oceans away from George.

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